Que Sera, Sera

One stands before oneself at life’s crossroads. At 1800 on Tuesday of next week I will cease to be in gainful employment. I will, in fact, be unemployed. For the first time in approx 9 years.

This is of my own volition. I resigned without a job to go to. I did this because I hated – repeat hated – the job I was in. I hated the job, the firm, the culture and the environment. It had begun to affect my health (stress, insomnia – things I’d never, ever suffered from before), my social life (ignoring friends, also family) my love life (falling into obsolescence and the search for Mr Right totally thrown onto the indefinite scrap heap). I had – in short – to leave.

Sheridan wasn’t a fan of my leaving. A close friend who lives up the road from me – he said it was “ill advised to leave without a job to go to”; “irresponsible even”. I understand prudence and of not jumping ship without something to go to. Of course I do. I understand the concept of ‘treading water until the right thing comes along’. Know why? Because I’ve done it before and because I’m not – contrary to popular belief – stupid.

I have irons in the fire. No, I do not have a concrete job to go to. I don’t have that. But I have some very far advanced well paying irons in the fire and this gave me the confidence I needed to quit. I simply can’t easily job hunt / interview in my current job. It’s been a nightmare. They are so slave-driving, it’s been almost impossible to get out. Sheridan has struggled to see that. And this has made me angry. He’s extremely risk averse. I know that. But as I said to him this morning – I need moral support, not doom-mongering (“this is the worst possible time to be job hunting!!!!11111”). He means well. He honestly does. But he lacks an ability to empathise with others. He has a high up central government job; ivory-tower like. Has had the same employer for 15 years. He never had holiday jobs. This is, in fact, the only job (well, employer) he has ever done. A rock solid job which he loves, extremely well looked after; high profile; great final salary pension. Good for him. I’ve moved around massively and will continue to do so. I’m not a ‘fly by night’ but yes, I can take risks. And I believe life is too short to be unhappy.

I’m not blase. It’s not all down to fate. The future is what you make it. But I have enough faith in myself to have done what I did and I am going to make a success of it.

2 thoughts on “Que Sera, Sera

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  1. Normally I’d be with Sheridan, but if you’ve got the means to support yourself while you find the next thing, then undoubtedly it’s the best possible thing to have done. You can almost guarantee that the company you’re leaving wouldn’t pay you sick leave for work-related stress – they don’t sound nice enough! I can already tell you’ve made the right decision – you sound much happier since.

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