The unbearable lightness of being

So I’ve been in a funk with work for what’s now turning into several months. But I’m standing by something I thought to myself quite some time ago: I can go to 2 years in the London office (i.e. October 2010) but can’t and moreover – won’t – do longer than that. Either they’ll give me a transfer then and there or I’ll quit (having done some job hunting beforehand; I won’t actually quit without a job to go to).

I’m fed up of the workaholic culture and also of the leadership vacuum. I need change, challenge, opportunity, development. But I don’t see where that’s going to come from. I had a good and fairly long chat with the Head of Scotland on the phone today. I feel that if I asked him to support me with a transfer he would do it. I’d love to leave the London office; it’s like a pressure cooker. I’m fed up of doing 50 hours a week in that office. Really fed up. So we’ll see.

The flat is about ready to go on the market. 7+ years of my life, hopefully coming to an end. And I won’t buy again too soon as that will tie me down. I don’t want to be tied down. I want opportunities and change, not the millstone of a property around my neck.

So my neighbour (single mother, Southeast Asian, 2 children) came round at the weekend. It’s a mixed bag here. A smattering of ‘young professionals’, the odd family, the odd DSS, some who don’t speak English. It’s ‘mixed’. When I bought the flat, way back at the end of 2002, I considered the place quite bohemian – arty even. I don’t experience it quite that way now. I consider it slightly down at heel, though the area itself is good (location, location). But it’s OK. And the flat is looking great, as it should as I’ve spent a fair bit of money on it. I have one final item for the flat coming, a framed and quite expensive B&W picture, which my White Russian muse will erect for me. That really is the final thing.

So the neighbour came round and I gave her some old furniture. A rather cheap old chest of drawers, a bedside chest of drawers, a big floor lamp and a blind. She was really chuffed. I’ve offered her the sofas and a load of other stuff when I actually move out. There is almost nothing I want to take with me. Only the antique chest of drawers I bought a year or so go. I can’t wait for the change, for this chapter to finally end.

5 thoughts on “The unbearable lightness of being

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  1. I think it will all come together..the flat going, a transfer and I think the not getting tied down in property gives you endless flexibility. Sorry the London office is getting too much. Do you have any holidays planned to look forward to?

  2. Frustration in your job will only ultimately lead to unhappiness. Change is good and it sounds as if you’ll embrace it.
    Our family all have the wanderlust and I think I could live in a tent on the moon.
    I’m excited for you…

  3. Daphne – thanks. I like the people (a lot) and the job is OK and the remuneration is good. But the workload, ugh. That’s the killer.

    Birdie – yeh, sooooooooooo excited about selling the flat and finally moving on in that way. Have to reduce my commute by moving to the centre. Yes, I’m off to Budapest in a couple of weeks for 4 or so days holiday.

    RO – looking forward to change. I’ve always had wanderlust too.

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