Lagerfeld on gay marriage

I’m against it [gay marriage] for a very simple reason: In the 60's, they all said we had the right to the difference. And now, suddenly, they want a bourgeois life. For me it’s difficult to imagine—one of the papas at work and the other at home with the baby. How would that be for the baby? I don’t know. I see more lesbians married with babies than I see boys married with babies. And I also believe more in the relationship between mother and child than in that between father and child

Karl Lagerfeld, expressing his own – non PC – views on gay marriage. He is above group-think and a herd mentality and I admire him for that, irrespective of whether I share his views.

5 thoughts on “Lagerfeld on gay marriage

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  1. Do you think there’s a herd mentality on this? I would say that within the gay community itself there is and has *always* been a gigantic amount of disagreement on the question of assimilation. Andrew Sullivan is a proponent — the title of his book “Virtually Normal” says it all. But Queer Theory activists vehemently disagree — they will say that marriage is an outmoded, sexist institution designed to treat women as property and give men control over “their” women’s children. They will also tell you that the whole point of the “Queer” agenda is to push the boundaries of what is “normal”, and once you push past the “one man one woman” boundary you can push past all of them, including the concepts of monogamy in general, etc. etc. etc.

    Personally I am not remotely a fan of Queer Theory and I find it very tiresome — I also hate anything PC (which QT is to its core). I’d call myself an “assimilationist” per se — I don’t feel for instance that gay people who are “too flamboyant” make it “look bad for the rest of us” and I am entirely comfortable with drag queens and with everybody just being themselves.

    Only two of the gay couples I know in Massachusetts have bothered to get married in all the years since it became legal here. These are couples (male-male and female-female couples) who have been together for years and years. Some are conventionally monogamous; others are in “open” relationships but nonetheless *their* relationships are as real and strong and they are no less devoted to one another than the monogamous ones. An open relationship isn’t for me (and I find the Queer Theory notion that somehow you are contributing to the advancement of society by “breaking those boundaries” and “queering” relationships by *not* being monogamous to be irritatingly disingenuous at best — people sleep around because they want to do it, not because they’re serving some altruistic political agenda), but as long as both partners are honest with each other and agree on the terms, I don’t see anything “wrong with it, and it’s none of my business either way anyhow 🙂

    For me, Gay Marriage isn’t even ABOUT the question of whether every gay person “ought” to get married and become a suburban bourgeois. It’s about choice and equality, pure and simple. It’s about having the OPPORTUNITY to have the same choices as everybody else.

    That’s what equality is all about.

    Same about Feminism. I’m a strong feminist but I’m also a believer in the ideas expressed in the book “Prisoner of Men’s Dreams”. Just because women have, as they should, the right to the same kinds of jobs and opportunities as men doesn’t mean that women should feel obligated to have jobs and be financially successful and if a woman wants to do the 1950s housewife thing there is nothing wrong with that: and, conversely, there is nothing wrong with a man (gay or straight) doing that either. In fact, the day that we stop asking male nurses why they didn’t choose to be doctors or being surprised to see male stenographers or secretaries, or stop finding “house husbands” unusual (which is a day that is almost here, I think, and much more so today than it was 10 years ago), is an important step in the work of feminism: women should be free to have every opportunity that a man has, but we also should as a society stop devaluing certain roles — those roles which have been traditionally relegated to women. Being financially successful or pursuing a career is no MORE valuable than raising a family or being “support staff” for people more visible and more glamorous jobs. It’s the supporters and nurturers that ultimately make the world go round.

  2. I disagree with Karl (interesting, though, I’m glad you posted it) and I strongly agree with Justin! In fact Justin has put my views on it all perfectly – thanks, Justin!

  3. I think Karl has missed the point. Surely the fight for equality is the fight for the right to choose.
    I don’t think wanting a family and security is particularly borgeois, it’s pretty much an across the board state.

  4. Justin – hmm. My comment on ‘herd mentality’ was really to do with London and the UK generally. There have been HUGE advancements on gay rights by the Labour Party, irrespective of how much I dislike them for other things. To my knowledge this has steamrollered any opposition (a good thing). There isn’t the same anti-gay lobby here that there is in the US, probably because the Bible bashing Conservative Right don’t exist the same way here the way they do there. But London is like a bubble. Totally agree with you on equality though. That isn’t negotiable and thus his standpoint is fatally flawed. The Queer Theory thing is interesting too.

    Daphne – yeh, Justin’s viewpoint is good.

    RO – yeh, equality is the key word. I think he liked the ‘otherness’ and if you are almost exactly the same as everyone else – you could be said to lose that. And he doesn’t like that. Difference means distinctiveness, different rules, etc. And you’re right, wanting those things should not be seen as bourgeois!

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