We’d conversed for several weeks and I hadn’t though we’d necessarily end up meeting. On paper we don’t have a lot in common. He’s blue-collar, Eastern European and 10 years younger than me. Without wanting to sound prescriptive, I do normally look for a degree of parity in a potential life partner. That can of course be boring and I think that, over time, I’ve perhaps been too conventional.
But we met today. Tall and good looking – about 6ft2. There was an earthy warmth about him that I liked. ‘Unaffected’ men (by which I mean, those that aren’t slaves to fashion or society’s labels of how or what a gay man ought to be) – can be hard to find. He was such a person. This ‘motif’ is one that those who have known me the longest will recognise. I do not harbour an elicit homophobia but I genuinely think all people should behave the way that comes most naturally to them and, most importantly, be themselves. I don’t like people who feel a strong, powerful need to ‘play to type’. This doesn’t just apply to gay men – but everyone. The middle classes, religious groups, etc. People who adopt certain behaviours, traits, views and mannerisms – because they feel it’s ‘expected’. Doing so can make them more comfortable, reasserting their ‘otherness’ vis-a-vis other social groups. This is something I’ve never liked; I like genuine diversity and individuality, not a tribally cultivated persona.
We probably had one too many drinks. These things happen. I gave up smoking many years ago but his warm, sweet, slightly smokey breath on my neck was not unpleasant. And I liked his hands and how they felt in mine.
Of course, I am also in touch with Clive who I’ve mentioned in prior posts. I don’t think I consider myself to be dating multiple men. I’m just keeping options open. Clive is very different to the Hungarian László. Older than me, solid, professional job. I probably have a lot more in common with Clive. But I don’t know if the ‘spark’ is as strong.
Clive wants to see me again and so does László.
We’ll see what the future holds.